Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
