Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
