i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
