need another drink. this is the easiest way
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
