So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
