Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
