I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
