and you said cock pushups were impossible
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
