The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
