lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
