I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
