Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
