he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
