remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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