"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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