If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize