She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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