i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
