I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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