Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A+ Viking dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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