Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can't talk, ducks in the car
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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