u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am full of burrito and curiosity
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am mentally ready for anal.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
