eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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