Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
