if i can run in heels then i can drive
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
