"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
