Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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