I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize