I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
