you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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