OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Success! We fucked roommates!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
