how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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