Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
