you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
