Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
