Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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