therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize