We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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