I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
