If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
