if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Where is the hickey?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
