chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
