"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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