Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
