Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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