you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
