did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
