he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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