Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
