I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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