is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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