I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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