Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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