Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
