make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize