I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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