Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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